8 F Y R E ' B I R D 8

tonight, i am choking up a fire, tonight the water in me burns and somehow this happens, inside me, making no sense, making only the sense, the sense ripped away from my lungs, my body decaying, how can i hate you and love you both at the same time, paradoxes dwell in me, i suppose this is like when traveling the rocky road home (to oneself) i tell myself to comfort as i push my foot farther down my own throat, yearning for some kind of intensity, some kind of relief from the pain of missing you, of missing me, of not knowing if i can trust myself on the night rides home, always knowing that i can trust something like my capacity to feel such extremities, such extreme seas, always getting closer to the one who i call Mars in me   tonight, i am remembering warmth and my ability to move with it, to move with the raging rivers in me, and not be drowned, somehow keep my head above water, my ear cocked to the horizon, knowing whispers that remind : hiding my queerness is survi...

monday, april 15th, 2019 :: waxing moon  how our hands hold dream how we are making dreams when we  cook love, for our beloved, with our hands  when we cook yams, and beets, and greens  and how this gives us our hands back to us  how we fall in love with experience  how we handle, tangle, and disturb even the outsides  of what we want  i am in so much pain  i am in so much physical pain today  and i am breathing with it and then pausing to weep  the weeping comes out of my body sometimes sometimes the weeping does not stop  sometimes i wonder how much longer i will be grieving my mothers grief  how can i make separate her grief from mine? when really,  it is a line of beckoning hands showing me their scars  and how can i say no?  how can i say no to my own kin?  i can .  i can s...