heat wave

today, our limbs got heavy.

the air swirled around us and contained traces of fire and ash. 

today, our lungs constricted a bit, and our tempers spiked. 

i hear the voice of my mother in my head, 

talking to me about prevention, preparation, and resilience. 

i spent a portion of my day tending to the youth. 

this is a sacred job. in all the different ways that people do that, as parents, as caregivers, as nannies and babysitters, as teachers. those who tend to the youth in terms of childcare and mentorship. it is a sacred job. 

we must have boundaries with technology. this is something i learned today when being with an eight year old. the way they feed us technology and make us become addicted on it is fascinating. kids as old as two or three can be seen staring into a screen, and i deeply believe that this changes our brain functioning and is part of some sick idea driven by republican (&some democrat) aliens to merge our bodies with computers so we become hybrid beings and easier to control. lol, well maybe ;) 

i retreat into my room at the end of the day and take stock. take stock of my moments today. the places i felt free, the places i felt constricted. the places i felt embarrassment or shame. the places i felt pleasure, ease, and release. 

i am a being who needs to recharge in my own space. i am easily over stimulated by the world, and i replenish my energy with alone time. this is sometimes called "introverted", or highly sensitive. i am not sure what it is. it is many things. it is just a part of who i am. i hope that all folks can begin to learn to respect that. 

i dream of a world that is, of many things, introverted friendly and rooted in disability justice. i feel when i am in spaces that are rooted and centering disability justice and accessibility, i feel more respected, seen, and empowered in my introverted tendencies or highly sensitive person traits. 

when i say in my own space, i don't mean without other beings. i usually mean without other human beings, but i don't always (and usually never) mean without more than human beings, my ecological kin and family. walking outside, in the woods, with beings who are more than human, i feel recharged and connected and resourced. this is literally an ancient form of therapy. being in relationship with the natural world around us. i get so on fire sometimes when i think about how we "know" therapy today, in its white and western sense, as a relationship between a therapist and a client, usually in a room with four corners and inside that costs a lot and is hugely inaccessible to most folks. Jah and i talk about how being a therapist is literally like being a supportive friend. And how living in a society that is dominated by systems of oppression leaves us with a lack of strong and supportive relationships. building these are radical, are deep, and are important. We must fight back against the fragmentation of our souls. 

folks need what we know as therapy now, because the community is gone, and the community used to provide a web of holding and "therapy". i'm interested in community therapy. i am interested in "free" forms of therapy, like the therapy of holding a friend's hand or leaning up against a tree.

written with bloody hands
tuesday, june 11th. 1:37am